Monday, March 26, 2018

N. Kasturi honestly talking about fear of being reprimanded publicly by Sathya Sai; Though I was never physically close to Sathya Sai I too had that fear

A recent Facebook post titled, "Prof Kasturi and Governor’s Birthday", https://www.facebook.com/IncyRose1504/posts/10214506780638799, dated 25th March 2018 by Saithra Leilani described an incident involving the state Governor's (Karnataka Governor, I presume) private secretary asking Shri N. Kasturi to pass a message to Bhagavan. The message was that the Governor was seeking permission from Bhagavan for the Governor visiting the Whitefield ashram the next day as it was the Governor's birthday and he wanted to offer his homage to Swami (Bhagavan) on that day. The article describes Kasturi waiting for the opportunity to ask Swami in private, and Swami's furious response when he did ask Swami about it.

I wrote the following comment on the above Facebook post:

Wonderful post, Saithra Leilani. Thanks for sharing!

The most interesting part of this post for me was this part: "I went inside the bungalow, and waited for Swami being alone. Because, if Swami reprimands me, there should be no witness of my discomfort!"

The strong impression I have is that Sri Kasturi was a truth-teller - telling the truth as he perceived it - and therefore his chronicling of the Sathya Sai Avatar in the Sathyam Shivam Sundaram volumes that he authored and his other book(s) like Loving God, have, for me at least, the ring of a truth-teller (truth as he perceived it).

From these accounts (including above post) of Prof. Kasturi and others, we know how challenging a task it was to be in close physical proximity to Bhagavan. It was a great gift of Grace and at the same time it required great skill to do the work assigned directly by physical form Bhagavan in His physical proximity.

I love the part above where Kasturi says that he waited till Swami was alone to ask about the matter so that if Swami does reprimand him, it (hopefully) would remain a private reprimand, at that time. This has such a ring of truth to it!

Once I experienced that Bhagavan, in physical form, would know everything that was in my mind when He looked at me during  Darshan (or elsewhere outside Sai Kulwant Hall), and that he would also know everything I had done during that period, outside His physical presence, the biggest fear that I had, was of Bhagavan reprimanding me in public for some big mistake of mine! That would have been an excruciatingly embarrassing experience.

To be really honest, it was one of the reasons that after an initial period of sitting in the teachers block or the verandah during Darshan in Sai Kulwant Hall, I chose to sit in the Old Students block. I knew that given my many human flaws, I could not match up to the very demanding standards of Bhagavan for people who got physically close to Him. So the Old Students block was ideal for me and it also helped me quickly exit Sai Kulwant Hall without disturbing many people, whenever my health issues created discomfort.

Of course, even in the Old Students block, I would be blessed by His eyes falling on me, every once in a few days. So fear of angering Bhagavan by some big slips in my behaviour outside His physical presence, was still there. But I felt a little protected from being reprimanded publicly by Bhagavan as I was not physically close to Him.

BTW Saithra, is it possible for you to provide a reference for the account you have given in your post?
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Saithra Leilani responded giving this book's pic as the reference: "Sathya Sai Baba God in Action", Talks by Kasturi" Edited and Compiled by H.M. Shivaram.
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I (Ravi) thanked Saithra Leilani for the reference.
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