Meditation Notes (Edited) from mid Jan. 2023 to early April 2023
Last updated on 2 May 2023
As usual for such posts, after some hesitation about whether to keep these private or put them up as a post, I decided to put up the post as it may be useful to someone, if not now then in the future.
Given below are edited form of my meditation notes from around 16th Jan. 2023 to 3rd April 2023
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Around 16 Jan. 2023
In meditation, what I'm seeing is that there are two ways of concentration.One way is to focus on a particular point within, like in the centre of the eyebrows.The other is more subtle where one tries to go at a deeper inner level without focusing effort.
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1st Feb. 2023
Namasmarana inner zone (plunging deep into Sai namam while meditating)
In this zone there is slightly (not greatly) reduced experience of body consciousness.
So it is a slightly reduced body consciousness state but not a transcended body consciousness state or out of body consciousness state or a beyond body consciousness state.
It also is a state of reduced thoughts about and experience of, the outside world.
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5th Feb. 2023
A peace that passeth understanding
I believe the above phrase is from the Bible. I had read it decades ago, I think before early 1990s when I started on a more intense spiritual journey. It had resonated with me when I first read it, continued to resonate with me over the years and decades of my more intense spiritual journey, and resonates very well with me even now.
Now I think that the main feeling I have usually when I am in my limited state of awareness-I (not beyond body consciousness but with slightly lesser level of body consciousness), is that of a great peace (प्रशान्ति, prashaanti) and contentment (तृप्ति, tripti). I think the phrase 'a peace that passeth understanding' applies very well to that great peace and contentment I feel in that state. I must add that, as of now, I can get into such state only when there is no significant bodily discomfort or suffering.
In my normal activities in a day, when my personal work (including some amount of Hindu scripture reading) and free writing service (on social media) work is over, I think the main desire I have then is to experience that 'peace that passeth understanding' of my awareness-I state.
Earlier I could get to the awareness-I state only when there was no significant bodily discomfort, pain or suffering of other kind. Now when I have some bodily discomfort and pain, besides the Sai namasmarana which I do then, I am trying to do some meditation too to get into the awareness-I state. It is becoming clear to me now that getting into peaceful and contented awareness-I state even when there is bodily discomfort/suffering, is a key spiritual challenge for me.
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12th February 2023 entry updated on 11th April 2023
This entry (and a later entry) refers to area of my body where I feel the core of my being lies. This is a confusing topic and so let me provide some background.
---- Start Background to description of area of body associated with core of my being ----
Enlightened people like Ramana Maharshi have said that (at a higher level), the consciousness (which I view as core of my being) does not lie inside the body but it is the body that lies within consciousness.
https://archive.arunachala.org/docs/self-enquiry quotes Ramana Maharshi as saying, "[The Heart] is the Centre of spiritual experience according to the testimony of Sages. The spiritual Heart-centre is quite different from the blood- propelling, muscular organ known by the same name. The spiritual Heart-centre is not an organ of the body. All that you can say of the Heart is that it is the very Core of your being, that [with] which you are really identical (as the word in Sanskrit literally means), whether you are awake, asleep or dreaming, whether you are engaged in work or immersed in Samadhi. (Ramana Maharshi, MG, 73.)" [MG refers to Ramana, Sri, Maharshi. Maharshi’s Gospel. Books I and II. Being Answers of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi to Questions Put to Him by Devotees. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam,1979; c1939.]
The same webpage quotes Ramana Maharshi as saying, "From this absolute standpoint, the Heart, Self or Consciousness can have no particular place assigned to it in the physical body. What is the reason? The body is itself a mere projection of the mind, and the mind is but a poor reflection of the radiant Heart. How can That in which everything is contained, be itself confined as a tiny part within the physical body which is but an infinitesimal, phenomenal manifestation of the one Reality?"
So it is quite clear to me that enlightened spiritual masters teach us that the body lies within consciousness and that consciousness is not within the body.
However, in my current limited level of spiritual evolution, as far as I can recall, I have never had the experience of feeling my body as being outside my consciousness. In other words, I have always felt that my consciousness is attached to my body. While I do believe above spiritual masters' teaching which I think is supported by Hindu scripture, as of now, it is a belief for me, and not an experience. During meditation, I can try to imagine that my consciousness/atma/core of my being has expanded to include my body and everything outside my body that I think of, but, as of now, it is an imagination and not a feeling or a lived experience.
In fact, for the past six to nine months, I have tried hard to rise above body consciousness or go beyond body consciousness using various meditation techniques but have not yet succeeded in having such an experience.
So at my limited level of spiritual evolution, I experience or feel my consciousness/core of my being as associated with a region or zone within my body. To clarify this, let me take the case of my hands and feet. When I make the effort to feel my hands and feet I can feel them but there is a core part of my being that feels the hands and feet or knows about this feeling. That core is an undeniable and inescapable part of me. Now do I feel or experience that this core of my being is located within my hands and feet? Certainly not! Then where do I feel or experience this core of my being? It is not a straightforward answer. I don't feel or experience it as a specific point within my body. Instead I feel or experience it as a region or zone which includes an inner part of my face and head like a channel of some width (small width not too large) from the throat to the Bruhamadhya, that is center of eyebrows, and somewhat behind the Bruhamadhya too. It does not include all of my face and head like the ears. Sometimes the region extends to the top and centre of my head (which I think is the Sahasrara chakra point). And sometimes the core of my being zone extends down from the throat area to the center of my chest, once again as a small channel.
Given this background, I think entries below describing the zone where the core of my being seems to be located, may make a little more sense.
---- End Background to description of area of body associated with core of my being ----
Trying to focus on the bruhamadhya is one way to meditate (formless meditation). In this way there seems to be some pressure on the point in which I am trying to focus. But with some concentration effort, it is quite easy to do or get into. I can concentrate all of my being, which while doing this, seems to be the head and face (I am not sure if centre of chest is included in the core of my being while doing this, which is something I need to study more later. I mean it may then imply that chest including its centre is not part of the undeniable or inescapable core of my being.) But even if it is easy to do such concentration effort, it is not effortless. That makes me wonder whether it is a natural way to meditate or a somewhat imposed or forced way to meditate.
The second way is to simply still the mind and just be without any thoughts. In this way there is a period of calm but I do not get a feeling of getting deeper into meditation.
The third way is to first still the mind and then try to go within. In this way I am not focusing on any part of the body. I have to first sense my awareness zone or consciousness zone or core of my being zone, so to speak. I am using the word zone instead of point as it seems to be a kind of channel from Bruhamadhya or little behind (within the face or head) the bruhamadhya to the centre of the chest. Then I keep my attention on this zone rather than make efforts to focus on it. Once the attention has settled on this awareness zone or consciousness zone or core of my being zone then I try to go inward or go within it and as that proceeds well, I try to get dissolved in it. Sometimes that seems to take me to a deeper meditative state where I, at times, also have some kundalini rising sensations.
This third way is not as easy to get into as the first or second way. This third way requires accessing a subtle part of my being. That sometimes becomes accessible but sometimes is not accessible, especially when I am feeling somewhat disturbed.
The fourth way is to think about formless divine power which permeates all of creation including all of my being, and meditate on that. Then I try to merge in that divine power or dissolve in that divine power. This way seems to be a natural way for me. I get a nice feeling when I am doing this way of meditation. But I do feel that it may be less deeper meditation than the third way.
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29th March 2023 modified on 2nd May 2023
"Dive deep into the Heart, the source of Being and Peace, and establish yourself there.
#ramanamaharshi"
I agree with the above at one level of meditation as that is my experience nowadays.
Sometimes the experience of peace is a contented peace especially at a deeper level of meditation. When I am experiencing such contented peace, I typically do not get an urge to come out of that meditation. In other words, I do not get a feeling of being bored (with the meditation) and so have an urge to come out of my meditation and do something else. Instead I want to continue doing that meditation. But I don't know how long I can do such meditation.
As of now, usually my meditation is for a maximum of about 1 to 2 hours at a stretch. Once I have come out of meditation and got into some activity, getting back into meditation, sometimes is easy and sometimes it is not. If the break is small like for medicine or short phone call (say less than or around 5 minutes), I usually am able to restart the mediation session continuing on for say an hour or even two. That makes it a total of 2 to 3 hours session with a small break in between. [I don't think I have exceeded 3 hours in a meditation session inclusive of small breaks.]
Sometimes, usually after a longish activity(ies) of an hour or more, I am not able to easily get back into meditation. I get bored and do some time-pass stuff (not chanting/meditation or japam/dhyanam but stuff like reading or walking or watching some videos).
I would like to add that at a deeper level of meditation, as I try to dissolve in the awareness-I, at times I have some kundalini rising type of experiences.
I have started viewing such a deeper meditation state into the awareness-I as an open doorway or path to the all-knowing, all-powerful, divine power Parabrahma which/who is the creator, sustainer and destroyer of the universe.
And I feel that going deeper through that open doorway would give me slightly more experience of this all-knowing and all-powerful divine power Parabrahma. Note that I view the awareness-I changeless and peaceful experience as well as the small Kundalini rising type of experiences I have, as a tiny little experience of divine Parabrahma.
I also use part of the above as a helper statement during this deeper level of meditation. The helper statements are like: This (deeper meditation state into the awareness-I) is an open doorway or path to the all-knowing, all-powerful, divine power Parabrahma which/who is the creator, sustainer and destroyer of the universe. Going deeper through this open doorway may (will?) give me slightly more experience of this all-knowing and all-powerful divine power Parabrahma.
I should add that going deeper into meditation may be a pathway to rising above and going beyond body consciousness. At least that's the way I feel. In particular, at times when I have been in this deeper meditation state, I feel that I am slightly more detached from bodily sensations than in my normal waking state.
In some previous deeper meditation sessions, I felt that it was somewhat like how my bodily sensations would be lesser when I am in partial sleep (or feeling sleepy). Note that in sleep or deep sleep there is no body sensation at all. But sometimes when I am feeling very sleepy but have not yet fallen asleep that's when the body sensations seem to be lesser than in normal waking state.
While meditating, sometimes I observe that I have got into a chain of thoughts and sometimes even an imagined scenario like in a dream. I then catch myself and get out of the train of thoughts and/or imagined scenario and focus back on the awareness I or the darkness within (in closed eyes state; darkness within at or near the bruhamadhya) and try to get dissolved in it.
This is an important aspect of weakness in my current meditation practice and how I am trying to overcome it. Clearly, my meditation has to become more steady.
But I should also say that this process of dream like imagination or chain of thoughts, catching it and then getting back into awareness I or darkness within, focused meditation is a straightforward one. I mean it does not bother me. I even get amused at times at the waywardness of the mind, and then simply get back to meditation.
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