Viewing Awareness-I as essence or part of God in my meditation and trying to dissolve or merge into God (experience oneness with God)

Last updated on 19 Jun 2023

For a few weeks now, I have slightly modified my meditation helper-statements and practice to additionally bring in "Dissolve into God" helper-statement. It has got somewhat settled now in my meditation practice and so I thought I should share it.

First, some background ...

The Awareness-I which I view as the Atma is one of the two most precious parts or aspects of me with the other part being God in formless aspect and in name-and-form aspect of Bhagavan Sri Shirdi Sai Baba and Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. However, my belief is that both my Atma and God, in their essence at least, are one. But, as of now, it is a belief and not an experience of God/Paramatma, the universal divine consciousness that I believe, pervades all of creation. 

Over the past few weeks when I meditate, I view the changeless awareness part in me to be part of God, and in its essence, same as God. I also view it as a pathway to experience God, the universal divine consciousness which I have not experienced so far but hope and want to experience some day. So sometimes while experiencing my changeless awareness in meditation, after the helper chant of ‘Go deep into I; Dissolve (or Merge) into I’ and associated feeling, I chant ‘Go deep into God; Dissolve (or Merge) into God’, focus on my unchanging awareness experience as essence of God and pathway to God, and try to bring in the associated feeling. The dissolve or merge into God is in the sense of (trying to) experience oneness with God.

This becomes a meditation where I view God as the divine force in the very changeless awareness I feel within me! In other words, I view that I am experiencing at least a part of God when I am directly experiencing the changeless awareness part of me! This has opened up a thrilling and fascinating meditation door to God, for me. But it is based on my faith that my changeless awareness is in essence a part of God, and a pathway to experiencing (more of) God, and it is not yet a direct experience of God (beyond experiencing only my changeless awareness). Over the past few weeks, this meditation has continued to resonate with me and stabilize to some extent. I think it may further stabilize over the coming months and years.

The following sentence encapsulates an important part of the above and so has some repetition: For me, the really big thing in this meditation is that I view God as not something different from my changeless awareness and so by going deep into my changeless awareness, I am going deeper into God (as universal consciousness, creator, sustainer and destroyer of universe) and I may possibly have experiences of God as universal consciousness if this meditation becomes deeper and stable. 

Today I came across a Facebook post sharing one of Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's quotes (from 22nd Oct. 1961 discourse), https://www.facebook.com/uae123000/posts/pfbid0CATEX2pP3rWKG3DVNEkojXpiZvt2aoGrKMGRKdkjzn9mY75x2VQ3Hmy8CqPBzMwHl . An extract from it is very relevant to this post, (Bhagavan says,) "the powers of man are limited by his experience and his knowledge. He is just a Pinda (part), while the Lord is Anda (whole), the force pervading the entire universe. The Anda-Pinda Lingam symbolises this body-limb relationship, the part-whole aspect of Maadhava and man." 

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Given below are my comments (slightly edited) from my associated FB post: https://www.facebook.com/ravi.s.iyer.7/posts/pfbid0oZHJd7AZD2zp46Rt7mr3o1zRnaVqFKRtXeH76nrsytrEWMRT1k4N8P2eMfSig7sRl . To see comments of others (whole comment exchage), please visit the post.

In response to a comment, I wrote (slightly edited):

Sairam! Yes I remember Swami telling us emphatically that that we are all God. While I believed in it, and it is in line with Vedanta scripture, I hesitated to bring it into my meditation practice. I mean, I was worried whether I had the maturity to handle it and not get into trouble due to some immature understanding of it. Now I think I am ready to bring it into my practice in the way I mentioned in the post above, and I don't have that immaturity fear and 'may get into trouble' fear.

Thanks --- for your valuable comment.

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In response to a comment, I wrote (slightly edited):

I recall very clearly one discourse of Swami in the last few years of his bodily sojourn on earth (a year or few years before April 2011), that I heard live sitting in Sai Kulwant Hall in Prasanthinilayam ashram. Swami said that from today nobody should Padanamaskar of His, as we all are God and so why should God take Padnamaskar of God! It was too much for me then to digest and still it is quite a lot for me to digest. I mean, I have directly experienced Swami's powers of knowing everything in my mind (and what I have done) and more such paranormal/supernatural powers. Where is Swami and where am I? How can I be God?

At that time, and even today, I viewed that as a big statement (Mahavakya) of Swami which must be true but which was beyond my limited knowledge and experience to understand. So I believed it must be true but was not willing to bring it into my regular spiritual practice as I felt I was not ready for it. Of course, I did not take or attempt to take Padanamaskar after that discourse (though others did take Padanamaskar after that). But I did not go beyond that.

Regarding "getting in trouble": It is a sensitive topic and so I will keep silent. Please excuse me on this. Thanks --- for your valuable views.