Trying to go deeper and merge into Awareness-I and go deeper and merge into Sai namam (name); 'Outer Zone' and 'Inner Zone'

Last updated on 28th Oct. 2022

After some debate in my mind whether I should write about this or not, I felt that I should do so as it may be of interest to some. I have benefited a great deal from reading such accounts of others and so I think I should contribute back by sharing such accounts of mine. 

This post follows up on my post: Enjoying 'I am I'/Awareness-I meditation anandam (peaceful joy) and prashaantam (deep peace) when bodily health is OK, https://ravisiyer.blogspot.com/2022/08/enjoying-i-am-iawareness-i-meditation.html , 24th August 2022 .

I have been able to increase my stamina for japam (chanting of Sai namam (name) /mantra like Om Sai Ram) & dhyanam (meditation) somewhat more from the August end period when I put up above mentioned post. In particular, I have been able to do dhyanam at night when I am not getting sleep. Earlier I used to hesitate doing dhyanam at night as I felt it will delay me going to sleep and I also was not sure whether it is appropriate to do dhyanam at night. I mean, I was wondering if such night dhyanam may have some unpleasant outcome. Now I don't worry about delayed sleep and also do not have any concern about unpleasant outcome of night meditation. If I sleep very late, so be it. As I am leading a retired reclusive life, I can make up for my sleep by waking up somewhat later and also having a nap in the afternoon.

I have also been able to become slightly more intense in my japam and dhyanam. In my above post, I had written about going deeper into Awareness-I. In the past few weeks I have started attempting to, I repeat attempting to, merge into the Awareness-I. In fact, I chant helper statements of 'Go deep into (Awareness) I' and 'Merge into (Awareness) I'. Interestingly, that has helped me go deeper into Awareness meditation than earlier - I sense a somewhat deeper state that I get into, at times, during such meditation. I also have some Kundalini rising experience at such times. However, even that is far from getting into a trance or losing body consciousness - I think that is a far more distant goal for me. So I am not really achieving any merger into Awareness-I during such meditation sessions but attempting to do so is resulting in my meditation becoming deeper.

Quite often, at initial stages of dhyanam I ask myself, what is my reality. As I contemplate on the answer I am usually able to get into Awareness-I state. If I had been in mind-body complex of Ravi S. Iyer state earlier, it is a nice way for me to move away from that state to the Awareness-I state. I usually follow that up, though sometimes I do this separately, by telling/reminding myself (about my deep belief) that I (Awareness-I) am a tiny part of (formless) Divine Parabrahma which has miraculous power and has created the universe and is sustaining the universe (and into which the universe will eventually be absorbed back in). I internally say that I want to get closer/have (more) experience of Divine Parabrahma. [I believe the Awareness-I experience is an initial level experience of Divine Parabrahma.]

At times in my japam & dhyanam, instead of focusing on Awareness-I, I focus on the divine name (namam) of Sai. 'Divya namam, taraka namam' is a helper statement that I chant at such times indicating that the name is a (powerful) divine one and that it has the capacity/power to take me across the bhavsagaram (sea of worldly life) towards the divine. I also do pranams (salutations) to Bhagavan Sri Shirdi Sai Baba and Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, and pray to them to guide me, protect me and (generally) take care of me. I think I have got a little deeper into Sai namam japam and dhyanam in the past few weeks.

At times, instead of meditating on Awareness-I directly, with eyes closed I meditate on what I sense when 'seeing' forward which is roughly the area from between my eyebrows to center of nose, and try to merge into that. Usually at such times, I also sense the Awareness-I indirectly.

I am also now using terms like 'Outer Zone' and 'Inner Zone', at times, during my meditation. By Outer Zone, I refer to the outside world, the world outside of my body and mind or the material world. I tell myself that the 'Outer Zone' is a passing show and something that I can, at least temporarily, forget about during my japam and dhyanam. By 'Inner Zone' I mean the Awareness-I, what I sense within and the mind. In contrast to the 'Outer Zone', the 'Inner Zone' is something that is always close to my beingness. Yes, at times in deep meditation, my mind is almost forgotten and there is only awareness/what I sense within. But the mind is much more present in my beingness, in my experience of life, even during my japam & dhyanam, as compared to the Outer Zone.

So, at times during my dhyanam, I use helper statements of 'Go deep into Inner Zone' and 'Merge into Inner Zone', and tell myself that the 'Outer Zone' is a passing show which I should not focus on during my dhyanam. 

There is also the body between the 'Outer Zone' and the 'Inner Zone'. But when the body is not having any significant illness/discomfort, it is easy to forget about the body. And the body is also, ultimately, a passing thing, even if for me as of now, if I am ill I simply cannot forget the body. So all the japam and dhyanam deep state that I talk about in this post is only when the body is not having significant pain or other discomfort. However, even when there is some tolerable level of discomfort in the body while doing japam and dhyanam, I tell myself that the body is also a passing thing/show (as compared to the much closer/much more present 'Inner Zone') and that helps to reduce worrying about bodily health (and focus on the 'Inner Zone').

I think that finishes key aspects of additions/changes to my japam & dhyanam practice over past two months, since I put up the above mentioned post in August this year.